InsaneJournal

Current mood:	crushed
Current music:	Hamasaki Ayumi - No More Words

...Time to say goodbye, after so long?
Almost three years. Almost three long years of blood (not literally), sweat and tears. Almost three long years of memories, the good times and the bad times, and all the times in between.

Almost three years I put into her, and now she has to be thrown away.

I'm being forced to quit PSU. In about two weeks, if the stars somehow decide to align in my favor, I'll be able to get on, get rid of all my items and meseta...and say goodbye to a girl that has occupied my heart and my mind for almost three years.

I have to let go of Omega.

It's not even just these past three years. Even before that, when I played her counterpart on PSO...she attached herself to me in a way few characters of mine ever have before. It hurt giving her up on PSO to move to PSU...but now, it hurts even more giving her up for good. Knowing I have no choice but to give her up, to let go and...knowing I have to say goodbye.

"I should never have let myself get so attached," I keep on telling myself, but...that's impossible. Would have been impossible. From the start, when Omega Forscythe came to life as a collection of pixels and polygons, she was something special. She drew me into her experiences, helped me spin and weave the threads of her story; she worked her way into my heart and made herself at home there for such a long time. Knowing I have to get rid of her makes it feel like I'm ripping out part of my heart, killing some part of myself.

Omega was me, more than I ever wanted to - more than I ever WANT to admit.

I'm sorry, Omega. But I know...you'll go on. You don't need me to live; you became something more than just the player behind the keyboard. When I finally do say goodbye...I know you'll just smile at me and say you'll be all right...and then you'll turn and you'll run into the melee, with your Partner Machinery and all your friends at your side, and you'll never look back. And Gurhal will never be as safe as it is when you finally become free of my own human limitations.

You'll be reborn, even as your self that's made of pixels and polygons dies.

Is this your way of telling me it's time for me to let you go?


We know that we are
Definitely, definitely alive
And we understand
We understand that we are alive

Since the beginning
I knew an ending would someday come
For everything
As long as there are things that live

If the winners and losers of the world
Should try to understand one another
Ah, it's okay if I lose
Someday I want to be someone who loses

We are definitely, definitely
Beautiful at the limits of sadness
Therefore, therefore, we are
Disgraced by our sadness

For the sake of that which we must protect
What are we going to sacrifice today
For everything
There are things that live

If the winners and losers of the world
Should try to understand one another
Ah, it's okay if I lose
Someday I want to be someone who loses

Did I give something to you?
Something so small, even this little me doesn't know
Now I've spoken about nothing else for so long
That even if there's more than enough words
They have become powerless